As much as I think Mr. V is a super model, he’s not who I’m describing in the post title…I’ll get to Supermodel Kayak Guide later.

We snuck away last week for a couple of days for an impromptu family beach vacation and decided to go kayaking one beautiful morning on the Waccamaw River.

The Beans loved it and was dressed for the occasion with her strawberry ring (from a Piggly Wiggly cupcake).

What is the most curious to me though is the thing behind their kayak.  Alligator?  Tree stump?  It’s like a picture with a spooky orb or a weird shadow.  Fantastic.

Anywho, it was an amazing day on the river…

When partaking in any physical activity, I like to fortify myself with healthy snacks:

 

This is where Mr. V and I will retire (or escape):

Supermodel Kayak Guide told us that building homes on the water is perfectly legal…all you need is a permit and a license.  What????  And up until recently you didn’t even need a permit.  Just a hammer, nails and some wood.

 

Designer AND kayaker…impressive, right?

 

Peace on earth, goodwill towards men…most excellent day.

Until.

We were meandering along in a relaxed fashion when Supermodel Kayak Guide says…”oh lookeee here…a river banded something something snake.  I think I’ll GRAB it from the overhanging branch.”

“What, what WHAT!”

And much to my horror, that’s just what he did.

 

Um.  Yeah….

Cuts on his hand?  FROM THE SNAKE’S MOUTH!

 

Supermodel Kayak Guide said they are nervous at first when you pull them off their tree branch.  The.snakes.are.nervous.

How about the people on your tour, dude?  Do you think they might be a little edgy when you are getting bitten all over by God-knows-what-kinda-river-snake and you might pass out from the venom and then we will be stuck living in above river house since we can’t find our way out of the winding creek/river maze you have just taken us through?

I mean….

I passed out right after this picture was taken.

 

Supermodel Kayak Guide said to just relax when holding a snake.  Like other creatures that can kill you (or horses), they freak out when they sense you are freaked out because their brains tell them that something must be wrong if you are freaked out.  So if you breathe calmly (and apparently smile at the creature)- it will sense that and tend not to attack.

NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

 

Beans got the memo:

For real.

Isn’t this the way most four year olds go kayaking?  With Hello Kitty sunglasses, strawberry ring and super chill ‘tude.

And the hits keep coming….

This is a FISH EATING SPIDER that was just cruising along in the water 2 inches from Beans’ hand.  She is, in fact the one who spotted it.  Note to all of you kayakers out there…this is a venomous spider since it has to inject the fish with venom to kill it and then eat it.

I know.  How do I get to the nearest exit?

And ten seconds after this picture was taken…

A five foot Sturgeon jumped out of the water and I grabbed my chest.  What is going on here?  Did we pay extra for wildlife shenanigans?

Thank goodness Mr. V is a real cool customer.  He is the laid back Yin to my Maniac Yang.  And he tried his best to calm me down.

We were then treated to tales of people that have been seriously maimed by said jumping Sturgeon including a Florida woman who was the victim of such a Sturgeon in June.  This poor lady ended up with broken arms, smashed collarbone and missing teeth!

Later I found THIS online:

And this:

As with most Supermodel Kayak Guides…perhaps less talk and more paddling is in order.

CHECK, PLEASE!

Our kayaking adventure came to an end and I was relieved to get out of my floating death wagon without any more brushes with killer nature.

Next morning…the Beans and I let Mr. V sleep in and we went out for a walk.

Besides finding Mermaid Money (shells) and chasing seagulls, we snapped some pictures of some of the houses along the beach.  I’ve been coming to this beach for seventeen years and even though newer houses have taken the places of the old ones, I still love the “easy” architecture of the new ones.

Here are a couple of my favorites:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Til’ next summer, where more adventures await us….

@

Thanks for reading,

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